The Crush Part V – a story of Estonia and love

Tartu, Estonia

Continuing the series from The Crush Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV, Lisa and I spend some more time with our friends and hang out in Tartu before dinner with her parents.

The Crush Part V

Dinner came sooner than I had wanted.  Maybe my jet lag affected me more than I thought or I was enjoying my nap a bit too much.  I slept for over three hours and never heard a sound.  Waking just in time, everyone began arriving downstairs around 6:30 as they anticipated a lovely meal at the Gunpowder Cellar.

I wasn’t really all that hungry but it didn’t really matter – Lisa and I were going to be together.  Guess the two of us being “together” was pretty obvious as the others noticed we have become a little more than just friends.  We both begin to share our story from the beginning starting with my first visit to Estonia and my crush on Lisa.

As our story unfolded, everyone seemed surprised and excited as no one realized how we had felt towards each other for all this time.  Everyone seemed so excited and happy for us – except Pete.  He didn’t say much or even smile.  All he did was just look at me.

After dinner, we all headed back to Pete’s and just enjoyed a night of talking, hanging out, and playing games.  Lisa and I just seemed to enjoy each other’s company throughout the night.  Around midnight, things began to wind down and so everyone started heading home.  I kissed Lisa good night and walked her to the door.

“I had a wonderful day today,” she said as she smiled at me with a little twinkle in her eyes.

“Me too.  It is so hard to believe all that has happened yet I can’t contain my excitement.”

“I’ll be by early in the morning and I’ll show you some new places and we can just enjoy our day together.  Jeremy – I love you.”

“Lisa, I….love you too.”

I closed the door and headed up the stairs.  As I said good night to Pete, he looked at me with a serious and concerned look.  But he returned with a “good night” of his own and went to bed.

As I laid in bed, all I could think about was Lisa and our possible future together.  I knew I would have to make a decision about whether I would come back to Estonia.  I examined my heart, pondered our future and our relationship, and thought about this love we seemed to have for each other.

In the middle of my thoughts, I shot up in bed and realized why Pete had looked at me with disdain on his face and showed no excitement for Lisa and me.  For a brief time, I had forgotten about my last year and all that I had told Pete.  Things had happened so fast with Lisa.  Maybe I was still a bit tired but living off the adrenaline of being back here.  There was now something I had to really think about – Lisa, our relationship, and finally telling her how things have really been since I left here.  With these thoughts and burdens weighing heavily upon me, my eyes grew heavy as I drifted off to sleep.

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Lisa arrived early in the morning and decided to join me for breakfast.  So started the second of four straight days together.  We covered every inch of Tartu – the parks, markets, and historic sites.  We actually took some time and went out of town to visit Tallinn and Parnu so we could take in the capital, the beaches, and lots of little shops.

Every day just seemed to go by so quickly as we spent time laughing, talking, sharing, kissing, and holding hands.  Our love for each other grew day by day as we spent more and more time together.  As the week drew to a close, I felt like I knew almost everything about her.  However, the end of our week also meant the time was coming for me to head back home.  On my final full day there, Lisa invited me over to her home to meet her parents and spend our last few hours together.

On the night before the big dinner with Lisa and her parents, I reflected back on our week and all the wonderful time we had spent together falling in love.  My emotions were overwhelming as I thought about her and our relationship and what the future was to hold.  What was I going to do?  My thoughts of our last day together turned from loving, hopeful, and sad to fear and anxiety.  This was going to be my last day and I had things to think about and decisions to make.

As much as I loved Lisa, a part of me was being held back and there was a part of me I had not shared.  I wasn’t even sure of that part of me mattered anymore.  However, I was scared, even more scared than I was sad.  All of my thoughts on life and the emotions of this week left me pondering my own life, my decisions, and my future.

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Stay tuned after Christmas for the dramatic and shocking conclusion of The Crush.  Yeah, it sounds like a bit of a soap opera cliché but I believe it will be an ending that will have many people talking.

For those who haven’t been following, the people in this story are real.  After the dramatic conclusion, I will give you an update on where these friends of mine are doing now in their lives.  So stay tuned and Merry Christmas!

Tartu, Estonia photo (jarsjo)