The Crush Part IV – a story of Estonia and love

Tartu, Estonia

Continuing the series from The Crush Part I and Part II and Part III, the relationship with Lisa is growing.  Today, Lisa and I head out just the two of us – and the romantic feelings are strong.

The Crush Part IV

I awoke refreshed and renewed after a good night’s sleep, despite a little jet lag and a sunrise around 5 am.  Yesterday seemed like a dream with all that happened.  However, realizing I had to meet Lisa in a couple of hours, I slowly got out of bed and headed for the shower.

While the water washed over me, every moment of the preceding day was played back in my head bringing with it a wave of mixed emotions.  Despite the mix of emotions and the dreamy and tired state in which I seemed to get ready, I was very excited to see Lisa again.  Maybe I could really fall in love with her, realize she is the one for me, and then we could decide to live in Estonia or even back in the States.

“Jeremy, are you ready to go yet?  I can’t wait to get our day together started!”

“One moment, Lisa.  Be right down!”

“Tere!  You look very beautiful today!”

“Tere and thanks!  Now let’s go!”

As we headed out the door, I could only think how beautiful Lisa looked and what a wonderful day we were going to have.  As we headed into town, we stopped off at a little cafe to grab a bite to eat.  We hadn’t said much since we left Pete’s, both of us seeming to be in our own little world.

“So Lisa, how come you’re not studying today or doing something with the band?”

“We have a short summer break for school and the band is taking the day off.  I love singing and all but I do need a break every once in a while.  After all, it is such a beautiful day and I just want to spend it with you.  I figured we could go down by the water and spend some time in the park.  Also, we could go by Tartu University and I could show you around.  I know you’ve been there before but I can show you more and give you some history and show you where some of my classes are.  Afterwards, I figured we could eat at a restaurant that most people here don’t know about.

So tell me, what has been going on?”

Not exactly a question I was ready to answer yet.  Not fully anyways.  I just didn’t feel like it was time to open up to her yet.  I just wanted to enjoy our time together and see if Lisa and I were meant to be and what could possibly happen with us.  Because of our situations, I had my doubts whether anything could really come of this.  But I wanted to just enjoy my time with her while I was there.

“School pretty much.  I will graduate in December and I can’t wait to get out.  I’m looking to see whether I want to enter the business world or explore other options with my life.  Other than that, just hanging out with friends and roommates.”

After breaking our silence and overcoming the obvious nervousness, we sat and just talked about music and school and any other thing that came to mind.  We finished our breakfast and headed down to the beach.  We took a long walk just laughing, sharing, and talking.  So engrossed in each other and our conversation, we seemed like the only two people in Tartu that day as time just flew by.

After a couple of hours, we headed over to the park near the school to just sit and relax.  The more I was getting to know Lisa the more I seemed to be falling in love with her.  Reaching the park, we both collapsed on the grass, just staring at the sky, enjoying our time, and daydreaming about our futures.

Lying there thinking about us, whether we had the same expectations in a relationship,  and a possible life together I ask, “Lisa, what do you want to do with your life?  Are you career minded or do you want to just use your life to serve others and enjoy being married and raising a family?”

“Right now I’m just studying for law school and playing with Greenleaf.  Lately, I’ve been wondering whether law school and a career is really what I want.  I enjoy Greenleaf and have a passion to use my gift in music and singing to serve others.  I have thought about giving up school and committing full time to the band traveling all over Estonia and playing.  I haven’t talked with the others to see how far they want to go with the band.  Just seems that I really don’t have as much of a clear direction for my life as I once had.  What about you?”

“Well, I am not sure.  I have thought about the ‘9 to 5’ job but not sure if that is what I want.  I have thought about traveling or living in another country and serving other people there possibly working overseas.  On the other hand, I have always wanted to sing and be a musician.  Granted, that is more fantasy than reality.  I can play the guitar a little and I enjoy singing but whether others enjoy hearing me is another story.  With college finishing up in December, seems I am re-thinking my life and what I really want to do with it.”

“Why not consider working in Estonia and maybe we can find a place for you in Greenleaf?”

“I’ve thought about coming to Estonia before and Greenleaf would sound like a lot of fun.  However, I just don’t know.  You may or may not know that Eric was not the only one Pete talked to about coming here for a year.  But with school and everything else going on, there was no way I could do it.  Now I have the opportunity but I just don’t know what I’m going to do yet.  I do know that one day I want to live somewhere else and see new countries and places.  However, I just don’t know if Estonia is where I want to be right now despite how much I love this country.”

“Maybe there will be another reason for you to come back here.”

As I laid there in the grass listening to those words, I knew what she meant.  Maybe I could come back for her.  For every moment spent with her, my heart seemed to grow fonder and my love stronger and more real.  I knew it was the happiest I have been since last summer.  Maybe Lisa and I were not as different as I thought we were and maybe she could be the reason I came back.

“Why don’t we head over to the school, grab a bite to eat, and let me show you around?”

As we headed towards the university, we began to open up a little more about our interests, hobbies, and families.  In listening to Lisa, I found out there was a little more to this beautiful Estonian woman than just law school, Greenleaf, and being a translator.

Lisa was an only child from a middle class family.  In Estonia, even middle class people were looked upon as rich especially during a time when the country was just beginning to awake from the reigns of communist rule.  As a result of Estonia’s liberation, her parents struggled, like most other people, as they went from having plenty to working for everything they have.

Lisa’s dad became a professor at Tartu University while her mom continued as a school teacher.  As for Lisa, she had always been a good student but growing up, she enjoyed spending time outdoors with nature in the park and at the beach.  She loved to sing in the park, relax, watch other people, and just stare at the sky.  Lisa also loved to read and discover things about life, history, and the world around her.  The more I learned about her, the more I got insight into the quiet, serious, and peaceful side of Lisa.

While touring the university, we decided to cut our tour short and go grab something to eat.  We did not want to eat too late since everyone was getting together tonight and going out to eat at the Pussirohu Kelder, or the Gunpowder Cellar.

The restaurant that Lisa took me to was definitely one I had never seen before.  From the looks of it, many others didn’t kow about it either.  We sat down and proceeded to have a nice lunch together, just chatting, laughing, and eating.  By this point in the day, I had fallen head over heels for Lisa and I was beginning to see that she felt the same way.  In my wildest dreams, I never saw this happening.  But after getting to know each other, finding out after all this time we both liked each other, and sharing so much in common, seems my crush became something a little stronger.

As we headed back to Pete’s, I stopped her, looked into her eyes, and kissed her.  Not a simple kiss on the lips but a long passionate kiss.  Her face seemed to glow and she beamed with a look of joy and love as we finally sealed our commitment and feelings for each other.

“Lisa, I love you.  I don’t know what is going to happen from here but I want you to know that you have truly captured my heart and seem to be everything I have been looking for.”

“Jeremy, know that I love you too.”

We walked back to Pete’s hand in hand.  No words were exchanged on the walk back.  Only an occasional glance and smile as each of us seemed to be wrapped up in the love we were feeling for each other.

Amazing to me how wonderful this day has been.  I got to know and love this twenty year old Estonian beauty I had a crush on a couple of years ago.  She walked me to the door and gave me a kiss.  As she headed home to relax and get ready for dinner with our friends that evening, I headed upstairs to get some rest and think things over before dinner.

Tartu, Estonia photo (jarsjo)